(22)

So far I’ve been loved, in spite of who I am;
Undeserving of grace, I’ve had charity love thereof.
But you are strange. You love me for who I am?
My suspicious mind poisons your precious love.

Trust

Sometimes my shoulders ache
from the sheer effort
of guarding each precious drop
in my cupped hands.

Drink from me, you shall not thirst again.

Simple

“I’m a simple guy”, he claims.
What he means is,
my madness delights and scares
him in equal measures.

Sight

What do you see between my words?

Observe how the ink smudges with anguish.
Letters of his name, on which yearning twines around.

Or can you see beyond that? Can you see Rage?

Cato

We started off normally enough, Cato the pet
played his role to perfection, he had even let
me pet him, made me feel all masterly and lordly
I was pleased with this arrangement – what a folly!
For soon, things changed, I became the pet, he the master
I was charmed - I couldn’t, if I tried, grow any fonder.

Into my soiled bachelor pad, some order
was wrought from fashionable disorder.
Cato was finicky and manically clean
He dined in style. Red meat, yes please, but only lean.
Chop it up with chicken liver and red cabbage
Sparkling water in Cato’s Bowl, for beverage.

Approval

I’m finally done
shoveling truckloads
into the gluttonous woman’s wide open mouth.
She's still hungry. She’s always hungry.
I don’t care anymore.

She will have to eat her own flesh.
And discover
that she wasn’t really hungry after all.

Legacy

Who gave me this belief
that I take up precious space on earth?
That I must tread softly, that my feet must not trample even soil,
which being lifeless, makes demands that I, the living, obey.

Who gave me this fear
this timidity that crawls along my spine?
To flex it like a bowstring
at the very sight of other humans.

Father, why did you teach me
that I must fear the dark and all those that lurk in the dark?
Why did you make me responsible
for the sewage that runs through their veins?

Mother, why did you tell me
that my head must be bowed
and my happiness must be the lenity
that I so earn, serving my Masters.

What legacy is this, Elahi!
Like a rodent with bloodshot eyes
it gnaws at the hoarded grains of bravery
turning me inside out.