Bait

If baits are cast
with disgust
Would the fish
not bite?

I Eat My Bitter Heart

I eat my bitter heart, black coal
with tar blood which seals the lip of a wound
that splays my ribcage open.

This curse repeats, a never ending play
of bleeding shadows, puppet show
to entertain minions
of Satan.

Oh Darkness, mother, embrace my bitter heart;
touch my frail soul that begs for your mercy alone.

My bitter heart, is a toy,
is a toy, for some
for some minions
of Satan and of God.
And for all humans.

Oh Darkness, my friend, embrace my fearful heart.
This frail soul begs for your mercy alone.

What nightmares did you sow in my mind
O Jesus
that the brooding canopies of its lush growth
shut out the merest speck of light.

Darkness, kind stranger, put your arms around my frail body
Close my eyes with cold palms
I beg for your mercy alone.

move on

how do i move on
from love?
what do i move towards
when i move away
from Love?

(19)

Of the lot many things that make me blush;
one is a secret in my heart of hearts -
that in your mouth, like a darkling thrush,
have sung, several of my body parts.

(18)

Your smell is of autumn; rich and woody -
Of rain - on sorrel leaves, on freshly churned earth.
Of warm truffles, of the wind that blows free;
Of frankincense that burns in a joyful hearth.

(17)

Shocking phrases of city slang you teach me.
My joy knows no bounds as I say them aloud.
I am giggly. It’s called unbridled glee.
Your presence is the drug that I’m allowed.

Dictum

It is for the queen to suffer
Without shedding one tear.

Auto Suggestion

I’m beautiful, it’s just that you don’t have the eyes
I’m divine, it’s just that you don’t have faith
I’m the answer, it’s just that you’ve stopped asking
I’m your dream, it’s just that you sleep no more
I’m the sweetness of your memories, it’s just that you’ve forgotten.

Dying

As days go by, labels shrink
and wither away like dead skin.
I am not even narcissistic anymore.
Only delusional.

The Beginning of the End

Amidst the most mundane household chore,
with no warning at all, a ball of grief
coiled in my gut, rolling up to explode
in my skull. It was an untamed creature,
which left in its slithering wake a brief
burst of toxins, killing love in its slow spread.

(16)

I'll serenade you with love songs - thousands
of them. But you tire easily of my words.
If only we could be together in silence
Then, in the dark, I’d speak to you without words.

(15)

I’m drunk on pain – heady fumes lodge in my throat.
My hurts are but clichés - a trite stretch of debris,
yet the anguish is not dulled, not by a mote.
If thou wilt, remove this chalice from me.

(14)

Your honesty is like a second voice --
It clings to your own in a ghostly glow
Sometimes soothing and drowning all noise;
at other times, exploding in a deafening roar.

(13)

Your fire has consumed me, my life is now
a joyous flame. But soon, you will go
and leave my world cold. Tell me how
I’ll keep myself warm. Christe eleison*. Don’t go.

* Christ have mercy

(12)

This senseless longing is the eye of a twister --
your face ripples along its whirl pooling walls.
Trapped in the spinning vortex of its lure
my body is ravaged by violent squalls.

(11)

Among all the terrifying wrongs that spread across
all tenses, I find the most terrifying right – You.
Why then, do I have to let you go - when your loss
will drown me in a sea of wrongs, with no rescue.

(10)

Why do I love you? You might as well inquire
why leopards are spotted or circles are round
Just so you know, there are no reasons anymore;
only the knowledge that you’re the shore I’ve run aground.

Warning

(i)
I don’t have a god, neither yours nor mine
Since that makes me less worthy of your God’s love,
would it follow by default
that I become unworthy of your love too?

(ii)
I have forsaken and desecrated those beliefs
that, ironically, form the core of your being.
Would I be forsaken and evicted from your mind
for that very reason?

(iii)
I disregard age old norms that I consider foolish
I am not afraid to be the first one
to break tradition, I’ve done that often.
Would you be able to live with that?

(iv)
My love is rooted in freedom,
by itself, it draws no boundaries.
They are to be drawn by you,
and it’s more difficult than you imagine.
Would you be willing to put in the effort,
and would you willingly step inside?

(v)
I wouldn’t deem serving you food
a responsibility that weighs heavy on my shoulders,
neither ironing your clothes nor straightening your wardrobe.
However, I will bring you food even if I starve
and clothe you even if I freeze to death.
Would you be comfortable with that?

(vi)
Money is not important to me. I like luxury, but there is no craving.
I will not nag you to save and keep for the future
So you might end up penniless.
My money and your money, will be your money.
So, if you save, you save, else no.
Will you blame me for ending up with ‘no future’?

(vii)
Talking of saving. And risking repetition
I have no saviour who will save my soul
from burning in the eternal fires of Hell
Except for you, if you want to see me in your Heaven
You will have to take me there yourself.
Would you risk heaven for love?

(9)

Your name spontaneously manifests in each
icicle of thought, and feathers out like cumulo nimbi.
I have to be careful - in my sleep and in my speech,
lest a wispy cloud should tumble out in a sigh.

Valentine

Honey, you put me in such a quandary
All I can give you are some pretty words
on which you’d throw an idle glance. Maybe
a breezy “Lovely, babe”, if you feel generous

enough and then dismiss. You want more.
What can I give you? Gifts.com is no good,
I cannot let piddling website junk touch your
beautiful fingers (and if I really could

I’d let nothing touch you or even see you)
Perfume? Too wimpy. (Besides, I love your smell)
Heart shaped chocolates? Now that smacks too
much of consumerist Valentinism. Maybe you could tell

me what you want. And would you want more?
I love the sound of the word, when you whisper
‘Some more’, ‘Give me some’, Sigh! Mon amore!
Take what you want, love, you’re my Valentine forever.